Stepping Out

my childhood hood

later childhood flavorings

 Some historical notes about my life; my Father was in the Army and we lived in many interesting places because of this. Three years in France and three years in Japan flavored my world permanently and infused their color and seasonings into my soul. Stateside also lent many colorful contributions to my world. Colorado, Arizona, Texas, Montana, Missouri, and my beloved Oregon all have heartstrings for me. I claim Colorado as hometown state since that is the family stomping grounds so to speak; my Mother is there and I graduated from school there. I moved to Oregon in 1976, life never to be the same. Enter the nature's child living on the land tents homebirths (all four kids) teepees yurt electricless decades. I learned many skills that most will never have. I say "a teepee girl can survive" because after living this way you gain the skills necessary to really function and thrive at any level of civilizations offerings. I basically was on a long camping trip, hearth and home wise.

We lived communally, swam naked, raised food and children, traveled to festivals, ate clean foods - mostly vegetarian, and many other lovely things. Also we lived well below any sort of financial level considered to be minimum by any standards. Slowly I matriculated back into a semi-traditional lifestyle complete with running water, steady income and town life. Albeit the towns were very fringe-freindly and composed of cultural openness. I did have some re-entry learning curves; it took months to adapt back into electricity tolerance because I had been away from the constant buzzing of the lines that infiltrate our homes. People don't realize the vibe being surrounded by electricity creates in our bodies as opposed to not being near it.

me and Willow, Takilma 1978

Well, my point I guess is that  now not having an address is not really new to me. But the situation is different these days and these surroundings. I also am not as young as I was then and I have learned to love the security (false, evidently..) of having a proper home. If life as we know it is heading for 2012isms etc., I hope to enjoy amenities and comfort for awhile longer if I can! Really though, I usually had a bigger range of options in the old days. Now I am plugged into a different paradigm, or maybe it is the same... Maybe I am ahead of the curve in life experience and skills. Maybe the return to my gypsy princess roots has been to open my eyes and look to new ways to help my community.
But I want to have a home so I rest and can do my art and study and have a sanctuary for my children. I want to plant a garden that I will actually be around to harvest. I need some roots. (Earth girl, looking at the stars.) Maybe if I were a plant I'd be a biennial,  yikes if really I am a perennial, only to blossom for the one season then die off (not literally of course). But seeds I do scatter to the winds, to send my hard won wisdom and yearnings to hopefully find fertile soil. I will do all the work needed to accomplish this, yes. My heart is happy by choice no matter what; even the twinges of pain add to that ultimately.

Looking Both Ways on the Road of Life

I am still here folks. Still a gypsy princess -with some progress, and some not so much progress. Meaning I still do not have a "proper" home yet. I have been able to use a tiny travel trailer to sleep in for a few weeks, but that very  abruptly has come to an end so it is back to my little car. It has been nice to have a small bed and somewhere to plug in a little hotplate to heat water on. I have become a master of instant just-add-water food like cup-o-noodles and instant coffee and tea bags. My favorite menus have been simple fare like seed bread, local cheese, fruit and an occasional  inexpensive cabernet sauvignon or zin. Life doesn't have to suck my friends. It doesn't cost much more really and makes me feel a bit like I'm on a picnic.
There was no bathroom (or water) in the trailer but I had some access to one (with no shower) which now will seem like an incredible luxury. I take showers at the local swimming pool community center for $2.00 each. A hot shower is REALLY one of life's pleasures. Access to a bathroom at any hour of day is the challenge. Wake up early and drive to McDonald's and use theirs... These are the daily challenges that really separate my day from the "norm". These are the things that make me feel the pinch of not-home living. Like traveling, but, really - not. Hurts the heart something fierce sometimes.......
Let me tell you there are more people living in this situation than you realize. Until you've walked this road for whatever reason, you never see it so clearly. It isn't easy. The line is very thin between these worlds, the homed and the homeless, but separate they are.

 I have been able to spend lots of quality time with my love and muse, The Beach. It has been so comforting and inspiring and exciting. I walk for miles, dream, sit and look and beachcomb. Usually I spend many hours a day there - it is free, it changes every day, and has plenty of room to roam and stretch one's eyes to the far horizon. You can even nap. It makes me happy to be on the beach plus Neptune tosses little treasures upon the shore every day, every minute sometimes. I have so many agates and shells and sea glass piled up on my dashboard, decorating my little automotive pony with the booty of a beachy girl. But also it just plain gives me a place to be, to hang out. There are many hours a day and you have to be somewhere. I rarely see anyone I know so it is a strangely anonymous place in a small town. Of course, the beach has been full of tourists, visitors, whatever term you prefer. Also there are miles of beach with many different access points.

If I was to wish for merfolkish dreadlocks, this would of been the summer to do it. The sometime strong winds and the mist of ocean do interesting things to hair. I usually have to spend quite a few minutes detangling before I can go places after the beach. My hair will be ready for some deep conditioning soon but I love the sunstreaks and waves and tendrils in my blonder-than-before hair. I have always preferred a semi-wild, untamed look as opposed to über grooming. Yep, that's me, feral girl.
I have enrolled in online higher education at a large community college which has me very excited. I can use the WiFi at the library with the lovely laptop a friend is letting me use till I can get my PC up in a homespace. Soon I pray, please please. I should have some better prospects at the end of October, just in time for the real turn towards rain rain rain and cold here on the lovely loved loving Oregon Coast. I am amazed at life every day and have so many blessings; those I count and appreciate ALWAYS! I am fine. Just look how pretty it is here. Home.

my town