December 31, 2010

Loved this Year of Learning

This was the daily post from the Dalai Lama facebook page. How fitting.
"Compassion creates a positive, friendly atmosphere. With such an attitude, you can create the possibility of receiving affection or a positive response from someone else. If the other person doesn't respond to you in a positive way, your own feeling of openness gives you the flexibility and freedom to change your approach as needed and still allows for the possibility of having a meaningful conversation with them."

December 30, 2010

I Need a Minute Here

Life is so full of ups and downs and twists and turns. I have felt many subtle shifts today. The enjoyment of my morning tea with peace and quiet, having a delicious lunch with an ocean view with a friend, hanging out with the kids, and now quiet again while the boys are on the beach for a jog.
We got a new neighbor next door in the house that has been quiet and vacant for many months. My natural inclination is to live NOT too near people, but have lots of room and privacy. So, I am not so glad to have people there altho it was inevitable; that is just the truth of how I feel, no apologies. I have been sending good vibes to hope that quiet folks rent that house. Life is too short to have loud neighbors... I feel like such a grump sometimes but hey. I am doing subtle and constant attitude adjusting thru the day to keep myself positive. People do have an impact on the next person.
  Don't fence me in -
  Absence makes the heart grow fonder -
  Give me a home where the buffalo roam - 
What is really bad is I went to a local shopping center today and it was extra crazy jam packed with people and cars and I was like, hey I'm outta here! I made like a baby and headed out of that place. It was a bit of a zombies at the mall vibe. Errrghhh
Sometimes I am hyper-sensitive but I usually deal with it very well. Ha, and I live in a fairly small coastal town. I have been to many large world cities, but it is different in my day to day life where I prefer to have little encroachment in my "personal space" else I get a bit ferocious, alas. (I don't like it when people crowd me in the checkout line either). Maybe I need to chill out and go walk on the beach..
So anyway this is my turn to feel hemmed in and push back at the world that seems to have scooted a little too close today. Pardon my elbows.
(But I do truly believe the new neighbors will be just fine. And certainly very nice! Love thy neighbor...)

December 14, 2010

byebyebyebye don't you cry when I say goodbye

 In 2010. I forsook coffee for tea. I forsook non-responsive people. I forsook any lack of confidence lingering around the edges of the past. I forsook following the rules of language and will now bend them at will. I forsook holding back tears. I forsook trying to please most people. I forsook the fear of embracing my shadow as teacher and friend. I forsook turning down the music's volume. I forsook feeling forsaken by love. It's been a darn good year.

December 09, 2010

Call of the Wild

Trust that there is a tiger, muscular
Tasmanian, and sly, which has never been
seen and never will be seen by any human
eye. Trust that thirty thousand sword-
fish will never near a ship, that far
from cameras or cars elephant herds live
long elephant lives. Believe that bees
by the billlions find unidentified flowers
on unmapped marshes and mountains. Safe
in caves of contentment, bears sleep.
Through vast canyons, horses run while slowly
snakes stretch beyond their skins in the sun.
I must trust all this to be true, though
the few birds at my feeder watch the window
with small flutters of of fear, so like my own.
Susan Kingsolving
Sometimes it does seem so. Developers are pushing into every corner, every fold and crevice. City council meetings I watch on the television are "let us cut, scrape, pound, dig, burn. We will make money. We want to expand into the boundaries, push buildings into the recovering forest. Into the marsh lands. Into the scared quiet. The refuge." There are many empty buildings in our town already. The deep stream gorges I thought would never be built in have been breached. The ocean views have been blocked by massive condo/hotels. People who once enjoyed the sunset now have the shadows of these goliaths blocking the warmth.
I will come down off my soap box now. Oh but sometimes I can barely take it anymore.

December 08, 2010

Losing Lennon

I was in Wonder Oregon that day. Still brings a tear. Aloha dear John, we love you forever.

December 06, 2010

French Riviera

We were on vacation from our home in Fountainebleau. We drove all the way to Monaco, Nice and Marseille, going over the mountains and thru towns along the coastline. We crossed over into Italy for some shopping.
My sister and I loved the beach like it was our natural element. My bathing suit had orange polka dots on white and dark bottoms, I don't remember if that was black or brown. I do remember that I loved it! I always had love afffairs with my swimsuits when I was little, never wanting to take them off. My Mom took us out into the deeper water to rinse off the sand and saltiness from the sea that had collected in our suits and was starting to rub our tender skin.
Our beloved French babysitter Odette came along with us. She was about 16 and I think every square inch of her tiny bedroom was covered with posters of film stars. She got so very sunburned laying on the sunny beach! My Mom poured canned condensed milk over her sunburn to take the heat out she said. My Mom still swears by this remedy!
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