Sometimes

Sometimes wildness is the only thing that can help me feel better if I have a lump of anxiety in my heart chakra. I have a bird in there today that is fluttering and trying to fly. That is what it feels like anyway. I am going to walk to the beach through the wind and cold - I will find my center just fine on the shifting sands and by the changing tide. They are almost the only constant things on fluttering -heart-days like now. The trapping of civilization do not soothe me - only Mother Nature. Her wild chaos is the order I seek and the bigness of the horizon to give me room to breathe I need now. See ya'll later.

White Wind Dance

 We had 55-70 mph wind (South Wind's tan cheeks all huffed and puffed up and busy) all day then at 6pm it started snowing (North Wind calmly tossing cold our way in a very slow and silent manner while gently spinning around) and snowed all night. (Sometimes when these winds meet they thunder and rumble but yesterday they danced). The S. wind was so strong yesterday I thought my car would flip. The boys walked slanted into the wind to prevent blow-over. As soon as the wind abated the snow began to fall in thick big flakes. It is so pretty and of course shut down entire coast. The weather is always present in this town. Like another person in the room and a voice with opinions about what you will or won't do today, thank you.
 The crest of the waves made huge 50ft. plumes of white and froth off the tops. The beach was reduced to momentary glimpses of sand between the high crashing onshore surges. Then comes the snow which is always a rare and special treat on the beach. (Sunday was full of bluster and snail which is rain and hail - we laughed at it while running to beach to scamper in the chill winds, looking for beaver chewed sticks in the driftwood to make into magic wands - the seagulls lowered their faces into squinty little wedges to let the wind blow around them like a torpedo).
 All this makes me remember how it snowed during and after the Tohoku tsunami last year. But across the street the daffodils have bloomed and are waving hello as I look out.
 I have been especially busy this week using my brain cells at a rapid rate with no end in site till late March. I would like to just curl up on the couch with cocoa and my book (the 4th in the Game of Thrones series by George R.R. Martin - A Feast of Crows) after a beach walk but that will have to wait.
 I hope everyone is safe and life is fine for all of you today. This world is a magical wonderland and sometimes it just makes me wonder...

I told the boys that if the wind had been blowing so hard while it snowed, that would be a blizzard. That is what I experienced as a child in Colorado but they have never expereinced on the Oregon coast in their lifetimes.

Tsunami Sunday

All I can think about is the event of the tsunami one year ago...
Life changed forever that day - for myself and countless others. On the other side of the Pacific ring of fire, the Oregon coast is no different in our risk for such natural occurrence. I lived in and love Japan and its people fiercely and my heart breaks still at video and story. Strangely enough, late in 2011 we moved to a very at risk tsunami zone in our town. Where before we were uphill a bit, we now are at water level, next to a tidal creek that will be a natural conduit of flooding inland. Every time I walk the beach I observe escape routes and run-lines to possible safety. How long would it take to run across the sand over driftwood and dunes to hill? Will the hill/cliffs even withstand earthquake? Will the kids all be safe and get to higher ground? What would I grab if I had to evacuate? Last year when the sirens went off I just took the boys and my cell phone, not even grabbing my handbag. Am I truly not attached to the material objects around me? If not, then why is so much of my time invested in care and attention to them?
Later this year and next year we will be expecting the debris to begin washing up to Oregon beaches from Japan. It takes awhile to cross the ocean via the currents. I hope to be able to document some of this.
Today I will pray and send love and express gratitude. These thoughts are never far back in my mind. I watch and listen.

Daughter of Nature

In the center of a lonely wood
Upon the moss a young woman stood
She wore a dress of Summer green
Her face was soft and tanned and lean
Her eyes were pools of clearest blue
 Jane Stuart

picture of Lily Donaldson by Greg Kadel