Dancing on the Edge

Oh my, you would not believe how often I have barely made it thru prediciments. Escaped with all intact and lived to tell the tale. Danced on the edge of ruin. Teetered on the edge of the cliff. Looked into the maw of the maelstrom. Sometimes the save was made by my fellow man, sometimes blind luck, sometimes by angels and sometimes by timing or awareness. Not that I have ever deliberately done something stupid (really?). More like I've almost gone over that edge, almost been cut by the double edged sword, almost fallen into the pit. Things like not having enough money for rent or breaking down in the middle of nowhere or driving thru a canyon 1 hour before the flood or getting rid of a crazy hitchhiker who almost burned the house down when I was in childbirth labor or having to drive a pickup truck over a slippery muddy narrow tract by a raging river or sidestepping a rattlesnake in the dusty road or getting lost in Mexico City when I was 15. I thank my lucky stars everyday, I thank you Jesus, I thank you angels, I thank you samaritans and rogue saviors who have appeared out of nowhere. I thank you neighbor and friend and family and windfalls and I even thank the government. You have all saved my you know what at one time or other !

protection I pray continue unabated

Between the Pages

Yesterday I found this lovely old photograph. It fluttered out from between the pages of a book on women and love. On the back it is a very old "The Season's Greetings" card. They were glued together lord knows how very long ago. Once I found a smooshed complete hummingbird between the pages of a heavy art book.
What is the most interesting thing you ever found between the pages of a book?

original photo above and enhanced photo below

Open

KEEPING WATCH
In the morning
When I began to wake,
It happened again.
That feeling
That you, Beloved,
Had stood over me all night
Keeping watch,
That feeling
That as soon as I began to stir
You put Your lips on my forehead
And lit a Holy Lamp
Inside my heart.
by Hafiz
Yes! A lovely new year, like the creamy blank pages of a fresh journal. Like the new soft skin of a baby's cheek. All is ready to be loved and cared for and appreciated. Let nothing dull this new hope and this flying forth into the future. Let the lamp burn bright in my heart. Let this year reach it's full potential for love, wonder and prosperity. Let us be protected and cared for and let us know the path ahead thru the next 12 months is bringing us closer to our goals and dreams.

Loved this Year of Learning

This was the daily post from the Dalai Lama facebook page. How fitting.
"Compassion creates a positive, friendly atmosphere. With such an attitude, you can create the possibility of receiving affection or a positive response from someone else. If the other person doesn't respond to you in a positive way, your own feeling of openness gives you the flexibility and freedom to change your approach as needed and still allows for the possibility of having a meaningful conversation with them."

I Need a Minute Here

Life is so full of ups and downs and twists and turns. I have felt many subtle shifts today. The enjoyment of my morning tea with peace and quiet, having a delicious lunch with an ocean view with a friend, hanging out with the kids, and now quiet again while the boys are on the beach for a jog.
We got a new neighbor next door in the house that has been quiet and vacant for many months. My natural inclination is to live NOT too near people, but have lots of room and privacy. So, I am not so glad to have people there altho it was inevitable; that is just the truth of how I feel, no apologies. I have been sending good vibes to hope that quiet folks rent that house. Life is too short to have loud neighbors... I feel like such a grump sometimes but hey. I am doing subtle and constant attitude adjusting thru the day to keep myself positive. People do have an impact on the next person.
  Don't fence me in -
  Absence makes the heart grow fonder -
  Give me a home where the buffalo roam - 
What is really bad is I went to a local shopping center today and it was extra crazy jam packed with people and cars and I was like, hey I'm outta here! I made like a baby and headed out of that place. It was a bit of a zombies at the mall vibe. Errrghhh
Sometimes I am hyper-sensitive but I usually deal with it very well. Ha, and I live in a fairly small coastal town. I have been to many large world cities, but it is different in my day to day life where I prefer to have little encroachment in my "personal space" else I get a bit ferocious, alas. (I don't like it when people crowd me in the checkout line either). Maybe I need to chill out and go walk on the beach..
So anyway this is my turn to feel hemmed in and push back at the world that seems to have scooted a little too close today. Pardon my elbows.

(But I do truly believe the new neighbors will be just fine. And certainly very nice! Love thy neighbor...)

Peace on Earth

Merry Christmas To All !

Just Horsing Around

byebyebyebye don't you cry when I say goodbye

 In 2010. I forsook coffee for tea. I forsook non-responsive people. I forsook any lack of confidence lingering around the edges of the past. I forsook following the rules of language and will now bend them at will. I forsook holding back tears. I forsook trying to please most people. I forsook the fear of embracing my shadow as teacher and friend. I forsook turning down the music's volume. I forsook feeling forsaken by love. It's been a darn good year.

Call of the Wild

TRUST
Trust that there is a tiger, muscular
Tasmanian, and sly, which has never been
seen and never will be seen by any human
eye. Trust that thirty thousand sword-
fish will never near a ship, that far
from cameras or cars elephant herds live
long elephant lives. Believe that bees
by the billlions find unidentified flowers
on unmapped marshes and mountains. Safe
in caves of contentment, bears sleep.
Through vast canyons, horses run while slowly
snakes stretch beyond their skins in the sun.
I must trust all this to be true, though
the few birds at my feeder watch the window
with small flutters of of fear, so like my own.
Susan Kingsolving
Sometimes it does seem so. Developers are pushing into every corner, every fold and crevice. City council meetings I watch on the television are "let us cut, scrape, pound, dig, burn. We will make money. We want to expand into the boundaries, push buildings into the recovering forest. Into the marsh lands. Into the scared quiet. The refuge." There are many empty buildings in our town already. The deep stream gorges I thought would never be built in have been breached. The ocean views have been blocked by massive condo/hotels. People who once enjoyed the sunset now have the shadows of these goliaths blocking the warmth.
I will come down off my soap box now. Oh but sometimes I can barely take it anymore.

Losing Lennon

I was in Wonder Oregon that day. Still brings a tear. Aloha dear John, we love you forever.

French Riviera

We were on vacation from our home in Fountainebleau. We drove all the way to Monaco, Nice and Marseille, going over the mountains and thru towns along the coastline. We crossed over into Italy for some shopping.
My sister and I loved the beach like it was our natural element. My bathing suit had orange polka dots on white and dark bottoms, I don't remember if that was black or brown. I do remember that I loved it! I always had love afffairs with my swimsuits when I was little, never wanting to take them off. My Mom took us out into the deeper water to rinse off the sand and saltiness from the sea that had collected in our suits and was starting to rub our tender skin.
Our beloved French babysitter Odette came along with us. She was about 16 and I think every square inch of her tiny bedroom was covered with posters of film stars. She got so very sunburned laying on the sunny beach! My Mom poured canned condensed milk over her sunburn to take the heat out she said. My Mom still swears by this remedy!

Boil in Sweet Milk

"If a cracked dish is boiled for 45 minutes in sweet milk, the crack will be so welded together that it will hardly be visible, and will be so strong it will stand the same usage as before."
I love making my list for Thanksgiving shopping. Checking off each item as I wield my shopping cart through the crowded isles. It really is a warrior's meal with the great effort involved. Women (and men) train for years to be successful Thanksgiving cooks. Housecleaning is big too because to make room for all your guests requires much moving arounds of things. I think I may like that part least. Usually things get put in weird places and are difficult to find again. Especially the things on my dining table which has many functions (it is the biggest flat surface available after all!).
May we all have confidence and joy as we prepare the feast and give our thanks for all our blessings. And mark another notch on our accomplishment belts.

Centaur Wind

Lovely my lovely time of year. Sagittarius blew into town last night like a wild gypsy lover. Fresh feral air like spring in reverse ~ tasting of winter and laughing . Nippy and dangerous.

o wild nights of metallic bite and running to nowhere like there is no tomorrow.. 

picture of Tony Ward

I love how the word nowhere has the word NOW in it. Ultimate of "Be Here Now".

Death of the Self

Like discarded pages                        

from the book

of autumn, the leaves

come tumbling down

in red and umber,

each a poem

or story

an unread letter.

Think of the fires

in ancient Alexandria,

the voluminous smoke

of parchment burning.

Open your arms

to the dying colors,

to the fragile
beauties

of November.

Deep in the heart
of buried acorns,

nothing is lost.

by Linda Pastan

  Well, it has been a week. Someone has dissed me out of nowhere and it hurts. Twice. I say I won't let it bother me but it does and creeps up into my thoughts. I much prefer people to be upfront and talk about things. At this point I don't know what is the problem. I now want to withdraw or rant, yet I know there is no answer to be found in that path. The person is someone who I cannot afford to have issues with since we work together. I will wait awhile and see what happens.

  This is the second time this year that this has happened. The first was a dear friend ( a friendshipI always thought was unshakable ) who just took a turn in the other direction. I know I will not please everyone but have had a crush to my ego/tender heart. Just when I thought all was well! I hope to learn from this because if not the pain is not worth anything.
UPDATE; I bucked up and just called the person involved They said they had planned on contacting me to apologize for their behavior. Also that they should of called me 1st, but were glad that I had reached out to try to set things straight. Evidently they were 'having a bad day'. Don't take it out on me next time please! Apology accepted but now I fear I may be a bit wary with them in the future as this was not the 1st time this has happened. I will be force feeding them chocolate next time I told them. Really. Mischief managed.

Of Remembering

Is it a new country

In another world of reality

Than Day's?

Or did I live there

Before Day was?

I awoke

To an ordinary morning with gray light
Reflected from the street,
But still remembered
The dark-blue night
Above the tree line,
The open moor in the moonlight,
The crest in the shadow.
Remembered other dreams

Of the same mountain country:     

Twice I stood on its summits,
I stayed by its remotest lake,
And followed the river

Towards its source.

The seasons have changed
And the light
And the weather
And the hour.
But it is the same land.
And I begin to know the map
And to get my bearings.    
by Dag Hammarskjold